


mint and vanilla

by jenhyung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 21:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12374304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenhyung/pseuds/jenhyung
Summary: Renjun juggles a secret admirer, his best friend's life crisis, and Lee Jeno. — Renjun / Jeno (Highschool!AU)





	mint and vanilla

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: 13k+ of awkward feelings and a lot of confusion... please ignore the pace and the glaring plot holes... some kissing (at the end) (not beta-ed, not proofread) (still don't know if this is good or not i've stared at it too much)

It's not often, but Renjun thinks about kisses. He didn’t know if Donghyuck’s ever done it, but he hasn’t had his first kiss. Who would kiss plain old Renjun anyway? But still, he wonders. How would it feel like? Would it be soft? He hoped it would be soft. It sounds nice to kiss someone with soft lips. And maybe sweet. Could kisses be sweet? Maybe if they ate something sweet before the kiss? Or maybe it would taste just like lips do. Whatever that’s like.

Renjun doesn’t have to look up from his lunch to know that it’s Donghyuck clambering into the seat across him, slamming his lunch tray against the table loudly, “I hate Lee Minhyung.”

It’s hardly anything new, Renjun knows, Donghyuck’s been complaining about the school’s student body president ever since freshman year. “No surprise there,” he drawls, swirling his mashed potato with a plastic fork.

“No,” Donghyuck hisses, and Renjun lifts his head lazily to find him staring daggers at the basketball team’s captain. “It’s different this time, I mean it, I _hate_ Lee Minhyung.”

“That big vein in your forehead’s going to combust if you keep glaring at him like that,” Renjun chides, putting his fork down to pick up his apple, only to find that it’s rotten on the side. Sighing at the waste of a dollar, he places it back on the plastic tray.

Donghyuck’s hand flies to press his hair down, “Shut up, it will not.”

“Ah,” Renjun grins. “You _do_ acknowledge the existence of Big Vein.”

“Shut up, this is serious,” Donghyuck thumps a fist on the table, and the freshman sitting two seats away from them flinches. “Lee Minhyung is the _worst_ , and I got partnered up for him for that dumb school trip to the science museum!”

Renjun narrows his eyes at him, “The science museum? Why did you sign up for that?”

Donghyuck splutters, picking up his bottle of orange juice, “Because! I like science!”

“You?” Renjun grins. “You liking science? What parallel universe am I living in right now?”

“I can like science!” Donghyuck fumbles with the cap. “I like science!”

“I’ve known you since the second grade, Hyuck,” Renjun deadpans. “You hate science.”

Donghyuck tosses the unopened bottle onto the tray, groaning in frustration, “Okay, I don’t like science.”

Renjun picks the bottle up, snapping the cap off easily. He sends his best friend a pointed look, “So? What gives?”

The blush that creeps up Donghyuck’s neck is more than enough to tell Renjun what exactly was going on.

It wasn’t rocket science, honestly, even a five-year-old could tell how big of a crush the boy had on Minhyung. It’s been going on for years now, to Renjun’s knowledge, but he knew that the pair, once completely attached at the hip, had drifted apart after Minhyung entered high school. Donghyuck and Renjun, having entered a year later than the older boy, were completely baffled at the difference of how much a year can change someone. Minhyung was still the nice and polite boy that he was in middle school, but there really isn’t much either of them could do about the people he hung out with, especially the seniors.

Donghyuck thanked the gods when the rowdy bunch graduated, and Renjun expected the duo to reunite, like those sitcoms with the main leads running towards the other on the beach, but nothing of that sort has happened yet. Minhyung still ran in different circles, choosing to hang out with the athletes of the school, instead of the president of the drama team (Donghyuck) or the just a lowly student council treasurer (Renjun).

He’s never told Donghyuck this, but being on the council with president Minhyung really made him miss all three of them hanging out together after school, playing videos games and stuffing themselves silly with junk food. Minhyung was still nice and cordial with him during council meetings, of course, but there was never much else to discuss, since Renjun only kept record of the council’s expenditure, and spent his time silently taking notes.

“You know just what,” Donghyuck mutters, grabbing the bottle from Renjun, taking a tentative sip. His eyes dart to the left, and Renjun is quick to follow.

Just several table away sat the topic of their conversation, Lee Minhyung, surrounded by his teammates, and then some other people Renjun’s never really associated with. They’re laughing and chattering noisily, but it’s dulled down compared to when they were freshmen, and the table was filled with seniors; like Nakamoto Yuta, and Jung Jaehyun, both of whom have left legendary stories for everyone to only relive through excellent story-telling.

Even when he was a freshman with Donghyuck, he’d never spend any of his time trying to concern himself with the popular kids. He chose to delve himself into his high school curriculum, knowing just how important his grades are to colleges, even at the age of fourteen. Instead of spending his free time chasing after a social status he knew he’d never achieve, Renjun took up extracurricular in arts and music, things he’d rather concern himself with. He couldn’t say the same for Donghyuck, who tried to follow Minhyung around the first few months of freshman year, only to be politely ignored (because Minhyung is never rude).

“What’s the problem then?” Renjun still has his eyes on the popular kids, thinking about how it looks just like a scene from a Disney channel movie. “Didn’t you sign up for that to get to spend time with him?”

The sound of Donghyuck choking makes Renjun tear his eyes away from the addicting picture, the way Minhyung throws his head back in laughter, hands on the shoulder of another boy with blonde hair. Donghyuck stares at him with eyes as wide as the bottle cap.

“What?”

Donghyuck is plenty flustered, grabbing the napkins off Renjun’s tray to clean the orange juice off his shirt, “Spend time with him! What are you talking about, are you crazy!”

Renjun rolls his eyes, but he knows Donghyuck will never admit it, at least not yet, so he asks, “What are you complaining about then?”

“Completely unrelated to whatever you just said, which is completely untrue,” Donghyuck rambles, and Renjun blinks. He’s going to fall asleep if Donghyuck didn’t get to the point already, “He obviously wanted to get paired up with that Jeno boy, I could tell, he looked so…” Donghyuck slams the napkins onto his tray, and the freshman flinches again. Renjun looks at the poor boy apologetically, but he’s too busy picking at his food, obviously trying his best not to make any sort of eye contact with Donghyuck. “Upset! When he saw the list Mrs. Jung pinned up!”

Renjun looks at him blankly, “Who’s Jeno?”

Donghyuck sighs exasperatedly, “Lee Donghae’s younger brother? The actor? Hello? Have you been under a boulder, what is with you, really.”

“Well, sorry for not keeping up,” Renjun says sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest. “Which one is he?”

“The idiot in the blonde hair,” Donghyuck mumbles bitterly, turning to openly glare daggers at said Jeno boy. “Why is he looking here, god.”

Renjun turns to look at that, just the slightest turn of the head, to find Jeno staring right at him. His eyes widen for a second, as if he didn’t expect Renjun to ever look his way, and then he’s ducking away, and all Renjun’s staring at are his wide shoulders.

“He’s probably just checking you out,” Renjun shrugs, looking back to find Donghyuck stabbing angrily at his cling-wrapped sandwich. He recognizes Jeno to be in a few of his classes, but he was never really registered under Renjun’s radar, other than being a part of the basketball team. “Why don’t you switch partners then?”

Donghyuck stills, “Why would I want to switch partners? I’m partnered with Minhyung, are you even listening?”

“I _am_ listening,” Renjun glares at him, particularly annoyed at Donghyuck’s antics today. “What are you really complaining about then?”

“I just thought it’d be nice if he’d wanted to be partners with me too.”

Renjun groans, grabbing his tray, getting up from his seat, “You’re impossible.”

“What!” Donghyuck pouts. “Where are you going! Are you just going to leave me here? Cold and alone?”

“I’ve homework from AP biology I haven’t gotten around to,” Renjun recoils inwardly at the thought of his unfinished essay on genetic engineering shoved in his locker. “I’ll see you after school.”

“Cold and alone! And heartbroken!” Donghyuck calls out as he starts to walk away.

Renjun rolls his eyes, looking over his shoulder to retort, but he bumps into someone rushing by, and the tray falls from his hands with a loud clash. He cringes, shoulders coming up to his ears.

The person runs off, not bothering to apologize, and Renjun feels the stares of everyone in the cafeteria burning holes into his back. He sighs, looking at his unfinished mystery meat and mashed potatoes sadly, really wishing he hadn’t caused a scene (though it wasn’t his fault), knowing himself how much he hated any sort of attention.

Stiffly, he bends down to pick the tray up. His uneaten apple had rolled off, and he takes a step forward to grab it. Annoyed at himself, he leaves the tray by the tray return, and chucks the apple loudly into the nearby trashcan.

He hears Donghyuck snickering even from twenty-feet away.

 

The hallways are still empty, since lunch period wasn’t scheduled to end for another fifteen minutes, so Renjun takes the time to walk slowly to his locker, enjoying the silence before he’s thrown back into the rush that is high school.

His locker is not far from the cafeteria, and he’s only midway through a daydream when he reaches it: Locker 323. With practiced ease, he unlocks it, and sighs when he’s greeted with a slew of textbooks and unfiled notes. It’s not usually this untidy, but Renjun’s been slacking off lately, too tired after classes to arrange them neatly.

“No better time than now,” he mumbles to himself, pulling the notes out first. He tries to balance them on his hip, but it threatens to spill over, so he leaves them on the floor. Textbooks, files, stationary, and his gym clothes, all clumped together at the back of his locker, he sighs, for what seems like the thousandth time that day.

Rummaging through the mess, he manages to find his AP biology assignment mushed between his gym shorts and history textbook. He leaves that aside, choosing to kneel in front of his notes, sorting them by subject and date. The doors to the cafeteria squeak open then, and he doesn’t look up, feeling his face grow a little hot at the thought of someone catching him pathetically sifting through his notes while on his knees.

He focuses on the task before him, though he can’t help but wonder why the person hasn’t passed him yet, knowing full well that the cafeteria was at the end of the hallway. If they wanted to get anywhere, they’d have to pass Renjun.

A few moments pass, and no one’s passed him yet. There’s not even a slightest indication of movement, and if it weren’t for the smell of baked bread the person seemed to have on them, strong enough to reach Renjun, he would’ve thought they’d returned to the cafeteria.

Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he looks up to see who’s there, but all he’s met with is the sight of the boys’ bathroom door closing, and maybe a glimpse of a pale pair of legs hopping out of sight.

“Huh,” Renjun mumbles to himself, and he stays for a second, wondering if the boy was going to return, but he doesn’t.

After rearranging his notes and having them filed properly, he grabs the textbooks he needs for the rest of the day, giving the door of the boys’ bathroom a quick glance before he leaves.

 

x

 

“Are you going to the dance?”

Renjun knows he’s going to get nagged at for asking, “What dance?”

Donghyuck buries his head in his hands, “I need better friends.”

“Thanks,” Renjun is impassive, recognizing that there was no real venom in his words. “Run along and have ice cream with that boy sneezing down your back in literature.”

They’re seated in a comfy booth of an ice cream parlor they frequent, _The Green Creamery_. It used to be a spot they hung out at with Minhyung. They’d sit for hours, Renjun with his mint ice cream, Donghyuck with chocolate, and Minhyung with cookies and cream.

But those days are long gone.

Renjun thinks they still hang out there because Donghyuck’s hopeful that the boy would one day walk through those doors again.

“Don’t talk to me about Sneezeball Sihyun,” Donghyuck gags, scooping up a heap of chocolate ice cream, shoveling it into his mouth. “Like, cover your mouth, damn.”

Renjun frowns distastefully at the lack of Donghyuck’s table manners, “I could say the same for you too, y’know?”

“Winter formal! The masquerade ball, Renjun!” Donghyuck continues with a mouth full of ice cream, and Renjun picks at his melting single scoop of mint ice cream. “The one in, like, four months? Aren’t you on the council?”

“I am,” Renjun sniffs. “I don’t really listen in on meetings,” he picks out a chocolate chip, licking it off the spoon. “Just jotting down whatever they tell me to.”

“And, what?” Donghyuck snorts. “You missed out on ‘spend five-hundred dollars on decorations for the masquerade ball’?”

“If you think the school has five-hundred dollars to spare on such trivial things, you’re going to be thoroughly disappointed.”

Donghyuck waves him off, “Are you going to go or not?”

“No?” Renjun raises an eyebrow, wondering why the other’s even asking. He obviously wasn’t going to go to some dance all decked out in… masks? Is that what masquerade balls are like?

“Why not!” Donghyuck whines, clinking his spoon against the glass bowl. “I’m going!”

“Oh, yeah?” Renjun pushes his ice cream away, not really hungry anymore. “Who with?”

Donghyuck grabs Renjun’s ice cream, finishing it in an instant, “Na Jaemin.”

“Na Jaemin?” Renjun balks. He was familiar with Na Jaemin, one of the smartest boys in all of Renjun’s math classes. “What about Minhyung? Weren’t you just crying about him over lunch?”

Donghyuck huffs, “I was not _crying_ , Renjun, come on.”

“Yeah, sure,” Renjun says, still in disbelief.

“I’m tired of chasing him around now,” Donghyuck shrugs, but Renjun knows that the frown on his face alludes more than just that. “And he’s going off to college next year, where he’s going to meet a bunch of hot girls, and everyone’s going to love him because it’s _Minhyung_ , for crying out loud, and it’d be even harder for me to catch up with him then.”

Renjun is silent, feeling deflated for his best friend, not really knowing until now how strong Donghyuck’s feelings were for Minhyung.

“Donghyuck – ”

“And!” He waves his spoon in the air, and a dollop of mint ice cream lands on the tiled table. “Na Jaemin has a _car_ , imagine that!”

Renjun bites his lips, his intuition hammering against in him, already predicting that things with Na Jaemin are going to end badly. He wasn’t sure if Donghyuck would get out unscathed.

“It’s just a dance, anyway,” Donghyuck continues, sensing Renjun’s apprehension.

“Yeah,” Renjun knows just what’s on the other’s mind. “Minhyung’s last dance in high school.”

Donghyuck looks out the window, jaw set hard, lips sealed tight, spoon grasped so tightly in his hands that his knuckles are turning white.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Renjun says quietly, uncomfortable with how Donghyuck’s handling the situation. “He’s still Minhyung for all we know, and this is just a really bad idea, okay, maybe – ”

“Ugh,” Donghyuck cuts him off, tossing the spoon into the bowl. “What do _you_ know about relationships? As far as I know, you haven’t even had a crush!”

The insult is still ringing in Renjun’s ears, even long after Donghyuck’s apologized, face crumpling at his own ruthlessness.

It was true. Renjun’s never really had any experiences with liking another person. He once thought that a senior in the school’s Chinese Performing Arts club looked really charming on stage, but that was pretty much it. It was never a big concern to him, that he didn’t have anyone in his life like what Minhyung was to Donghyuck. He’d never really put much thought into it. Sure, going out on movie dates and aquarium trips would be nice, but Renjun hasn’t really thought about _who_ could fill that spot in his life.

Donghyuck is still apologizing when they leave _The Green Creamery_ , even though Renjun’s said that it’s fine, he knows that the other is having a hard time.

Though, he doesn’t refuse when Donghyuck offers to pay for his ice cream for the next week.

 

x

 

The first letter he gets falls out of his locker when he’s rushing to class.

Renjun stares at the note lying by his shoes, still dazed from having sped walked to school after missing all five of his alarms.

It’s folded in half, and even from a distance away, Renjun can make out a tiny heart on the front doodled in red ink. He picks it up quickly, ears burning when it registers what the note really is. It’s vanilla colored, the feel of it sturdier, thicker than regular paper. Certainly not at all lined paper that could’ve been ripped from the back of someone’s notebook.

Whoever it was clearly put thought into it.

The bell rings, throwing him off, and Renjun nearly drops the note again. He slips it into his biology textbook, heart thundering in his chest, exhilarated and disoriented at the sheer incredulity of the situation. Hitching his backpack higher up his shoulder, he rushes to Mr. Choi’s classroom, unable to form coherent thoughts at the possibility of him getting a _love letter_.

In a haste to get to his seat, he trips over his own two feet the moment he steps into the classroom.

“Hey!”

The sound of a chair scraping against the linoleum floor is deafening, and a pair of lean arms hit Renjun’s chest. If it were just a fraction of second later, his face would’ve hit the ground, and it would be the second time this week that Renjun’s got to pick his things off the floor.

He stumbles into whoever it was that caught him, and he curses himself for having such weak legs. Purely out of reflex, he grabs on the arm around his chest, still fumbling to get back on his feet.

“Are you okay?” The voice is deep, and a little stricken. It sends a shiver down Renjun’s spine, and it lights the back of his neck aflame.

Renjun turns to face his knight in shining armor, and it’s Jeno, god, of all people, the blonde boy from the day before. He flinches at the (lack of) distance between their faces, pushing Jeno off, staggering backwards to right himself.

Jeno smells sweet. A mix of cotton candy, and something else.

“Y-yeah,” He stutters, clutching his textbook closer to himself. Jeno is staring at him, looking just as surprised about the situation as Renjun felt. His blonde hair is styled back, and Renjun has to look away because, _whoa_ , he was _really_ good-looking.

It’s Jeno’s lips that catches his eyes. They weren’t full like Donghyuck’s, or soft at the corners like Minhyung’s. They were a little thinner, but still plush, a little glossed, Renjun can tell from such a distance. He briefly wonders what his own lips look like.

Everyone in class is staring at them now, watching the scene unfold. Renjun hates the way his skin prickles. “Sorry,” he forces out, tone clipped. “Thanks.”

And he turns to walk to his seat, trying his best to ignore the bubbling feeling brewing in his stomach when he hears his classmates start to murmur,

“Jeno, dude, you okay?”

“Whoa, you just caught him like that?”

“How did you get up so fast?”

Renjun slides into his seat in the second row, straining his ears to hear Jeno’s reply,

“Er… Reflex?”

He tunes the rest of the conversation out, not wanting to involve himself with classroom chatter, even if it _is_ about him. Still rattled, he sits at his desk with his ice-cold hands on his lap, dazed at the whirlwind of a morning. A switch flicks in his mind, and he’s reminded of the note in his textbook. 

As inconspicuously as possible, he slides the textbook close to him, opening it to the page where the note lies, seemingly a lot more intimidating now that he knows what it could be.

Sucking in a deep breath, he hunches over his desk. On any other day, he wouldn’t be worried about anyone paying any sort of attention to him, but after his embarrassing fall, he wouldn’t take the risk.

He flips the note open, and written in tiny handwriting,

 

_you’re the apple of my eye!_

 

Renjun squints at the note over and over again. There’s a tiny doodle of an apple on the corner of the note, and it’s colored in red, with a green worm sticking out of it. The handwriting isn’t in cursive, but rounded around the edges, a contrast to Renjun’s own handwriting, sharp and crisp.

 _Is this a joke?_ is the first thought in his mind. Forget his heart in beating in his ears and his toes curling in his shoes, he’s positive that it’s Donghyuck playing a trick on him, especially after what he said just the day before.

“What is that?”

Speak of the devil.

Renjun straightens to glare at his seatmate, “I don’t know.” He waves the note in Donghyuck’s face, “You tell me.”

“What are you talking about?” Donghyuck frowns, plucking it out of Renjun’s fingers.

“Hey!”

Donghyuck turns, and Renjun leans forward to find Jeno jogging towards them, a hand landing on Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“What do you want?” Donghyuck is thoroughly confused, and so is Renjun. He briefly wonders if Jeno was here to ask if he was okay again.

“I wanted to talk to you about the field trip,” Jeno says hurriedly, not at all looking at Renjun.

 “I have nothing to say to you,” Donghyuck dismisses him, peeling Jeno’s hand off his shoulder, and sitting down. Jeno only looks at Renjun then, distressed, and Renjun doesn’t know what to make of it, so he looks away. The blonde boy hovers over them for a moment more, only leaving when Donghyuck turns to glare at him again.

Renjun hides a frown. He didn’t have much of a problem with Donghyuck muttering insults at the boy, but having him deal with Donghyuck’s coarse self up-close and personal, when he hadn’t done anything wrong… Renjun didn’t sit well with that, but he knows better than to disagree with his best friend on this.

“What’s he got going on in his head, god,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath. He thumbs the note in his hands, “What’s this?”

Renjun registers the confusion in Donghyuck’s face, and immediately figures that something’s not adding up. He snatches the note back from Donghyuck instantly, “This wasn’t from you?”

“No,” Donghyuck eyes the note, curious now. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Renjun says hastily. He shoves it into his backpack, not wanting it in Donghyuck’s sight any longer.

“That’s not nothing,” Donghyuck insists, trying to reach over to retrieve it from his bag. “Let me see!”

Renjun pushes Donghyuck away, scowling.

On any other day, he would’ve shared it with Donghyuck, not really one to keep secrets from his best friend. But today was unlike any other day, today he received a love letter (and then he fell), a love letter! And there might be a chance it _wasn’t_ some nasty joke Donghyuck’s pulling on him? Today was unlike any other day, and maybe Renjun just wants to keep it to himself for a while longer.

 

It’s after school that he finds a second note, falling out of his locker again, same vanilla paper with a heart on the front. This time, he catches it before it touches the ground.

“That’s quick,” he mumbles under his breath, huddling closer to his locker to read the note.

 

_that was close._

_you probably think it’s weird receiving something from me,_

_since you know not who am i,_

_but that doesn’t faze me!_

_i want you to know that you’re just my type of guy._

Renjun nearly slams his head against the locker door, _What kind of trashy rhyme is this?_ He stifles a laugh, both amused and in disbelief at the entire situation. He reads the same few lines again and again, examining the tiny drawing of a happy sun in the corner. The cogs in his brain are spinning madly, trying to figure out what he should do at this revelation. _Could it be a girl? Or, maybe less likely, a boy?_ Renjun didn’t have a preference just yet, but it would be nice to know.

“‘That was close’,” he repeats, most confused at the first line. “What was close?”

There’s no answer, and he’s sure the girl two lockers from him is giving him an odd look. Knowing Donghyuck might turn the corner at any second, he tucks the note (carefully this time) into his bag, and shuts his locker. His phone buzzes at the thought,  

 

17SEP [02:31] **donghyuck** : i’m at the gates  
17SEP [02:31] **donghyuck** : with jaemin  
17SEP [02:31] **donghyuck** : he’s coming with us for ice cream

 

Renjun scrunches his nose at the last message. He didn’t know if it was such a good idea to have Donghyuck bring Jaemin to _The_ _Green Creamery_ , of all places, not when it’s holding so many memories that included Minhyung. It’s a tough conversation to have over text, especially on the off chance that Jaemin’s not reading Donghyuck’s messages over his shoulder.

 

17SEP [02:33] **renjun** : okay  
17SEP [02:33] **donghyuck** : his friend’s coming too  
17SEP [02:33] **donghyuck** : idk who  
17SEP [02:34] **donghyuck** : we’ll see

 

Renjun sighs, but he starts to make his way out. He didn’t really want to spend the next couple of hours with Jaemin and his friend, whoever it might be, at _The Green Creamery_. It really didn’t settle well with him that Donghyuck was bringing other people along to their hangout, so he makes a mental note to talk to the boy about it later.

 

17SEP [02:36] **donghyuck** : fuck

 

He’s near the exit now, so Renjun doesn’t bother responding. It would be so easy to bail out of meeting them, maybe he could feign that he wasn’t feeling well, that he might be coming down with a flu.

Donghyuck’s flaming red hair is easy to spot amongst the backdrop of green trees and bushes, and the blonde boy standing around him is as easy to recognize.

Renjun stops in his tracks to whip his phone out,

 

17SEP [02:37] **renjun** : ??? what is he doing here???

 

Donghyuck looks up the moment the message is sent, and he immediately spots Renjun frozen on the school’s front steps, “Renjun!”

For someone who has pride in himself on being smart, in both books and emotion (most of the time), Renjun must’ve been out of his mind to have alerted Donghyuck of his presence, because now all three boys are staring at him, and there is no way to escape.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he strolls over to them, trying to keep himself as calm as possible. He doesn’t say anything to Jeno or Jaemin (why would he?) so he faces Donghyuck, giving him the coldest look he can muster.

“Jaemin, Renjun,” Donghyuck introduces, not at all bothered by Renjun’s discomfort. “Renjun, this is Jaemin.”

“I know you!” Jaemin is all bright smiles and wide eyes. “You scored a hundred on that last calculus test, didn’t you?”

Renjun tries his best not to frown, “Yeah, I did.”

“Calculus with Mr. Kim?”

It’s Jeno speaking to him now, and Renjun isn’t quite able to look him in the eye, so he focuses on the shrub behind him, “Yeah.”

“Whoa,” he notices Jeno grinning out the corner of his eyes. “You must be really smart then, Mr. Kim has the hardest tests.”

Renjun looks up at him at that, unable to stop himself from frowning. _Was that a backhanded compliment?_ He knew Jeno was smart too, having topped a few classes that Renjun or Jaemin didn’t.

“Thanks,” he says monotonously, turning back to Donghyuck, “Look, I’m not really feeling well today, I don’t think I’m up for ice cream.”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes, and Renjun knows in that instant that there is no escape, “You looked pretty fine this morning when you were hiding that little note from me.”

Renjun feels his ears grow hot at Donghyck’s condescension, his chest constricting (just a little) at the mention of the note, especially in front of two other boys he would like _not_ to have this discussion in front of.

“I’m going home,” he says stiffly, turning on his heels to walk away.

“Renjun, c’mon!”

But Renjun is not at all appreciative of whatever Donghyuck’s got going on with Jaemin, so he ignores him, leaving the three of them behind.

“Hey, wait up!”

It’s Jeno, he recognizes. He doesn’t know why he knows, but Jeno’s baritone voice is unmistakable, easily recognizable.

Renjun assumes he must be talking to somebody else, because why would he be chasing after Renjun? So, he keeps his head down and continues walking, only to stutter to a stop when Jeno appears beside him, tall and handsome and positively glowing at him.

“Hey,” Jeno repeats.

Renjun stops in his tracks, and Jeno stops too. He turns to look at Donghyuck, but the redhead is long gone, so he turns back to Jeno, “What are you doing?”

If Jeno was at all bothered by his hostility, the smile on his face hides it completely, “Oh. You said you weren’t feeling well.”

Renjun waits for him to continue, but he doesn’t, “And?”

“I thought I’d walk you home?” Jeno grins, and Renjun takes half a step back, his neck starting to cramp from having to look up to talk to him. “If that’s okay?”

“Why?” Renjun is straightforward, but he doesn’t really care. _Why does he keep smiling like that? What is he trying to pull?_

Jeno tugs at the strap of his backpack, looking sheepish, “I want to.”

Renjun doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t say anything, resuming his walk home.

“Does that mean I can?” Jeno is by his side again, matching his comfortable pace.

“Aren’t you already?” Renjun mutters lowly, but loud enough for Jeno to hear.

He doesn’t need to look to know that Jeno’s smiling again, practically radiating delight out of every single indiscernible pore on his face.

The first few minutes are silent, and Renjun can tell by the way Jeno’s bumbling that he’s just itching to speak, and he can’t deal with any more of his fizzled, contained energy, so he goes,

“Thanks,” he pauses, and Jeno’s head whirls so quick that Renjun might’ve heard something crick. “For this morning, I mean.”

“Oh,” Jeno scratches at the back of his neck, still grinning. “That was nothing.”

“Not really,” Renjun sniffs, keeping his head on straight. There was something about the way Jeno’s eyes are that he can’t quite look into them. “My face would’ve hit the floor if you didn’t catch me.”

Jeno guffaws, loud and a little bit obnoxious, but Renjun thinks the way his eyes crinkle sat the sides are captivating.

“That would’ve been _floor-rible_ would you say?” The pun on ‘horrible’ is a giant stretch, and Renjun looks up to stare at him incredulously, not quite believing that someone of such god-like looks could make such a bad joke.

“Did you _catch_ that?” Jeno grins, and a laugh escapes Renjun’s lips.

Renjun scoffs, “Okay, I’ll give you that one.”

Jeno’s makes a show of pulling his fist down to his chest, and then turning to ask, “Do you like puns?”

He’s suddenly reminded of the first note he’d gotten that morning: _You’re the apple of my eye!_ Was that a reference to him dropping his tray in the cafeteria the day before?

“They’re okay,” Renjun says distractedly.

“Oh.” Jeno mumbles, and it’s awkward again.

Renjun doesn’t mind. He’d rather spend the walk home trying to come up with possible candidates of who his secret note-giver (he’s not going to jump to conclusions and call them his secret _admirer_ , that’s too much) might be. Can’t possibly be anyone he already knows, Renjun’s certain that no one within a forty-mile radius could ever be interested in him.

The street his house is on comes into view, and Jeno is still quiet beside him.

Renjun stops. “Are you going to walk me to my front door?”

Jeno blinks twice. “Can I?”

Renjun sighs, but he continues walking anyway, and Jeno follows like a golden retriever. Under his breath, he mutters, “Donghyuck’s right, you must be odd in the head.”

He expected Jeno to get offended, but the other simply laughs, loud and unperturbed, “Donghyuck doesn’t really like me, does he?”

“He doesn’t do a good job of hiding it either.” Renjun thinks he could ask Jeno about Minhyung for Donghyuck, but decides against it. He didn’t know what intentions Jeno held either, or if he even had any.

“I don’t think he bothers, honestly,” Jeno chuckles, and Renjun can’t help but agree.

They trail up to his driveway then, and Renjun stops by the mailbox, not quite sure how to go about having Jeno leave. It would be impolite not to ask him in, but Renjun wasn’t about to voluntarily invite him in.

“This is it,” Renjun declares, throwing the ball into Jeno’s court.

Jeno eyes the modest double-story house, painted white, as plain as houses go.

“It’s a beautiful house,” Jeno compliments, his eyes turning into crescents again, the corners of his lips tugging upwards.

An ominous gurgle rumbles deep inside him, and he feels the underside of his jaw grow warm. He immediately attributes it to annoyance; Was it another backhanded compliment? He knew Jeno’s brother to be a famous actor now (thanks to Donghyuck), so their family must be pretty well off. It didn’t make sense for Jeno to find something so plain and boring to be… _beautiful?_ What a word, even.

“Okay, thanks.” The notion of inviting Jeno in for whatever reason has long flown out the window. “Bye.”

He turns away,

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

It’s hopeful, with some sort of underlying meaning that Renjun’s too tired to decipher.

“Yeah, sure.”

Renjun decides that he’d better be careful around Lee Jeno.

Who knows what he’s got up his sleeve.

 

x

 

He gets the third letter a week after the first and second, and it isn’t a trashy poem this time. Renjun hates that he’d spent the entirety of last week expecting it, and he hates the way his heart swells when the tiny red heart greets him,

 

_i think you look beautiful today,_

_i mean every day._

_you’re all i think about all day,_

_everyday._

There’s another doodle by the corner of the card, and it takes Renjun a couple more seconds to comprehend that it’s a tiny drawing of him. Complete with brown hair and round glasses, his only pair, that Renjun wasn’t wearing today because he had gym, but still.

“‘Beautiful’,” he scoffs under his breath, tossing the note back into his locker. Maybe it should’ve tugged at his heart strings, the idea that someone could be looking at him that way, having feelings for him a certain way. It didn’t help that he didn’t _know_ who it was.

Renjun didn’t like to be yanked around, and he certainly didn’t fancy the idea of being kept in the dark, neither did he think any of it was romantic.

Whoever it was sending him these _love letters_ , he grimaces, was obviously playing some kind of elaborate joke on his feelings. He still hasn’t completely ruled Donghyuck out yet, knowing just how well the boy could act. It was starting to get on his nerves, lifting his hopes up, only to be let down, when he knows it’s just going to be some idiot with a lot of free time and really nice stationary.

Frustrated, he slams his locker shut loudly, scaring that same freshman from the cafeteria, who was putting his books away. He’s about to mumble an apology when Jeno runs up to him, a little bit winded, a lot alarmed,

“Hey.”

Renjun stalls for a second at his sudden arrival, but relaxes when he notes that it’s just Jeno, without Minhyung and the rest of their uproarious friend group. He ducks left, not really interested in giving Jeno the time of day, figuring it’d be easier to just keep a cordial distance between them.

He didn’t spend much time thinking about Jeno, but he’d be lying if he said the thought of the blonde boy didn’t ever pop into his mind once or twice.

“Hi,” he sighs when he notices Jeno following him again.

“Something bothering you?” Jeno asks, and Renjun glances up at him, mildly startled at the unease on Jeno’s face.

“No,” Renjun turns away, speeding up.

“Are you sure?” Jeno probes, matching his pace with his long god-given legs. “You seem… bothered by something.”

“Nope,” Renjun smacks his lips, feeling a little sorry for Jeno that he was in such a bad mood, but yet again not really, because what was Jeno doing around him anyway?

He takes a sharp turn into Mr. Choi’s biology lab, and Jeno nearly stumbles into the door frame. Renjun heads straight for the bench in the second row, the one he shared with Donghyuck, (not surprisingly) his lab partner.

“Did you find something that bothered you?”

Renjun looks up from rearranging his books immediately, disconcerted at Jeno’s choice of words, “What are you – ”

“Hello,” Donghyuck is here now, chocolate sprinkled donut in his hand (and over his mouth). “What are you guys doing together?” He says gruffly, gingerly pushing Jeno out of his seat with his index finger.

“I was just – ” Jeno starts, looking extremely perplexed, brows knitting together, lines on his forehead deepening.

Donghyuck holds a hand up, “You’d know if I was talking to you, boy.”

The look on Jeno’s face so much paralleled a kicked puppy that Renjun ignores his rational conscious to not defend him, “Lay off, Hyuck, he was just asking to borrow my notes.”

Donghyuck stares at him, and then at Jeno, and then back at Renjun, “What notes?”

Renjun ruffles through his file to brandish a random set of his neatly handwritten notes, handing it to Jeno with a loaded look, “Here.”

Jeno catches the bait, grabbing it with both hands, “Thanks.”

He’s still standing around after that, Renjun’s notes pressed to his chest.

“Why are you still here?” Donghyuck frowns, exasperated. “Don’t you have another bench to get to?”

Renjun closes his eyes, pitying Jeno and his bad timing around Donghyuck.

“Sorry,” Jeno mumbles. He leans over, waving the notes in his hands, “Thanks,” he says again.

“Don’t mention it,” Renjun waves him away, hoping that he’d leave, lest Donghyuck flares up again. He does, thankfully, and Renjun dodges all of the questions Donghyuck’s throws his way for the rest of the school day.

 

Again, it’s after school when he receives the fourth letter.

Renjun doesn’t open it immediately, choosing instead to deal with the sweaty gym clothes in his arms. They played dodgeball today, and he wasn’t entirely sure, but him being found this morning with Jeno might have had something to do with Donghyuck accurately hurling all his shots at his best friend.

When he does open the letter, he does it with another long exhale,

 

_sorry if my note made you upset…_

_am i being a bother?_

_i don’t know any other way to convey my feelings to you,_

_i just… like you so much._

This time, his heart does constrict, but the frustration is still there. He can’t shake off the feeling that it’s going to be revealed as some sort of dumb joke at the end of the week or something. Resigned to the way his heart is hammering in his chest, he picks up both of the letters he got, carefully sliding it into the front pocket of his backpack.

“Hi.”

Renjun nearly jumps a foot into the air, but he does stagger backwards, bumping into his locker. He zips his bag up quickly.

It’s Jeno again, hugging his books to his chest, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Renjun groans, wondering why he’s always hurting himself whenever Jeno appears. He nods, slinging bag across a shoulder and shutting his locker. He’s about to ask why (oh, _why_ ) is Jeno around again, but the boy thrusts his notes into Renjun’s grasp, looking sheepish.

“Thanks,” Jeno coughs, and Renjun takes his notes back, slipping it into his file. “For this morning.”

“Why are you hanging around me?” Renjun is frank. He didn’t really want Jeno around him, and in relation, Donghyuck, any longer. He didn’t like how Donghyuck treated him, but knowing that it revolved around Minhyung, it was like he was stuck between a giant rock and a wall. “Donghyuck really doesn’t like you,” Renjun says honestly. “You should probably stop hanging around me,” he corrects himself. “Or us, I mean.”

“I can handle Donghyuck,” Jeno says easily, leaning against the locker next to Renjun’s, looking relaxed. “I like hanging around you.”

“Really?” Renjun is unimpressed, folding his arms across his chest. “Looked like you needed some help there this morning.”

Jeno splutters, and Renjun starts to walk away, knowing Jeno would follow. (He does.)

“I was just caught off guard!” Jeno whines, and Renjun ignores the way his fingers tingle. “I can handle Donghyuck.”

“I really doubt that,” Renjun laughs dryly, maneuvering past the bulk of cliques littering the hallways, Jeno dutifully behind him. “You should really back off before he gets mad.”

“Why? Are you guys dating?”

Renjun stops in his tracks, and Jeno bumps into his back with a tiny _oof!_

“No,” Renjun clicks his tongue, looking over his shoulder. The look on Jeno’s face is guarded, and Renjun is bewildered. He wants to ask why Jeno’s so concerned over him anyway, but thinks it’s better to just move past it, not really wanting to hear the answer, “Just stop hanging around me, okay?”

He begins to walk again, but Jeno’s in front of him now, walking backwards, “But I like hanging out with you!”

Renjun wants to pull his hair out, “Thanks, but you don’t actually know me, so – ”

“Exactly!” Jeno is undoubtedly exhilarated. “We’ve to hang out more then!”

Renjun can’t believe his ears, “Why are you – ”

“Want to get ice cream together?”

Maybe it’s the way Jeno’s looking at him, as if he’s the only one in the hallway, or maybe it’s been so long since someone’s wanted to hang out with just Renjun, or maybe it’s what Donghyuck said about him never having a crush (but that can’t be it, Jeno wasn’t a crush, he’s sure),

“Fine.”

“ _The Green Creamery_?”

Renjun feels like a hypocrite for judging Donghyuck when he says, “Yeah, okay.”

 

Jeno, as Renjun learns, is not all bad.

For one, he doesn’t talk as much as Renjun assumed he did. The walk to _The Green Creamery_ is filled with a snug sort of silence for the most part, apart from Jeno’s intermittent comments about the scenery around them, to which Renjun would nod in response.

They get to the ice cream parlor without a hitch, and Renjun’s thankful for the cool air-conditioned air that welcomes them when Jeno pulls the door open for him.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, and Jeno bumbles up beside him, scanning the rows of flavors excitedly.

“Donghyuck isn’t here today?” Youngho, a college student temping at _The Green Creamery_ , is there behind the counter, a friendly smile greeting them both.

“Not today,” Renjun shakes his head, ignoring the way Jeno’s practically drooling over the glass counter. “This is my, uh, friend, Jeno.”

Youngho sticks a long arm out, and Jeno takes it politely, “Nice to meet you Jeno! I’m actually pretty amazed right now.”

Jeno tucks his hands into his pockets, and Renjun pretends to busy himself with the different flavors in front of him (he already knows he’s just going to get mint again), “Why?”

Youngho chortles, “I’ve never seen Renjun with anyone other than Donghyuck, if I’m being honest. It’s like I’ve stepped into another dimension.”

Renjun feels his ears light on fire when Jeno laughs, “I’m glad to be the first one then.”

“Alright kiddos!” Youngho puffs out his chest. “What will you have today? Mint, Renjun?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles, wishing, oh, _wishing_ , the floor would crack open and swallow him whole. With the way his heart’s beating at a thousand miles an hour, he doesn’t think he can safely handle the next couple of hours.

“As usual,” Youngho scoops an extra-large serving for his favorite high schooler, handing it to Renjun over the counter. Jeno grabs it before he can, holding onto it while he ordered his own,

“Vanilla, please.”

Youngho abides, and serving the taller boy a scoop just as plentiful as Renjun’s.

“What are you doing?” Renjun stops Jeno with a hand on the other’s arm when Jeno shuffles to the cashier with both ice cream bowls in hand.

“Paying,” Jeno says simply, gently shrugging Renjun off. “That’s what you do after you order something, no?”

Renjun wasn’t daft, “Yeah, I know that.”

“That’d be seven dollars,” Youngho punches the buttons into the cashier, and Jeno hands Renjun both bowls of ice cream, effectively stopping him from reaching for his own wallet.

“I can pay for myself,” Renjun insists, trying to put the bowls onto the counter, but Jeno blocks him smoothly, playfully mimicking his every step.

“No, no,” he laughs, and Renjun deflates. “It’s my treat. For hanging out with me.”

Renjun looks at the ice cream in his hands, “You don’t have to buy me ice cream for us to hang out.”

A pause. “You mean that?”

He doesn’t know why he’s said what he said, but the sharp intake of breath Jeno takes has his guards up again, “I can pay for myself.”

“Oh, Renjun,” Youngho coos from across the counter, leaning against it with a dreamy look on his face. “The boy here obviously wants to buy you some ice cream, just let him have his moment!”

Renjun contemplates never coming back to _The Green Creamery_ , especially not when Youngho’s working. He ignores the college student, muttering, “Thanks, Jeno.”

Jeno bounces on his toes twice, “It’s my pleasure.”

 

In favor of staying out of Youngho’s eagle eyes, Renjun picks the booth furthest from the cashier, sliding into the comfy seats. Jeno follows, taking the seat across Renjun, and pulling his ice cream towards him.

“Thanks,” Renjun says again, before taking a tiny scoop out of his own.

Jeno swallows before answering, and Renjun can’t recall the last time he’s eaten with someone with table manners (but it’s probably Minhyung), “You’re welcome.”

For a while, there’s nothing but the click of spoons against glass. Renjun swirls his spoon in his melting ice cream, eyeing the customers by the bar (a boy with pink hair, the other with purple), and his mind wanders about what it’ll be like after high school. The boy in purple pulls something out of his pocket, and Renjun has to squint to see what it is (a case, it seems to look like). With a loud gush, the boy in pink curls a finger under the other’s chin, and they _kiss_ , quick and chaste. The smile on his face is near-blinding when they pull apart.

Renjun looks away swiftly, embarrassed, face burning up just from witnessing such an intimate scene.

“Did you forget your glasses?” Jeno asks casually, eyeing Renjun attentively.

Renjun doesn’t piece it together quick enough, too busy trying not to stare at the couple, “I don’t usually need my glasses. Just in certain situations.”

“Ah,” Jeno hums, nodding his head. Renjun watches as his blonde hair flops along.

“Why did you dye your hair?” He was curious (and needed something to distract him). Jeno didn’t seem like the type to have his hair dyed blonde (no matter how much it made him look like a golden retriever), and Renjun thinks he could look nice with just black hair too. 

Jeno’s fingers come up to pinch at the ends of a strand in front of his eyes, “My brother wanted to see if he’d look nice blonde,” he laughs. Renjun can’t recall the name, but he remembers he’s an actor. “We look so much alike, so he had me dye it before he did.”

Renjun thinks that’s such a _Jeno_ thing to say. He’s only met Jeno, but it felt like he could pick the boy apart in just seconds, what with the way he’s laid out to bare, innocent and innocuous, “And? Did he dye his hair blonde?”

“No,” Jeno reaches for a napkin, cleaning the sides of his lips, and Renjun’s eyes follow the movement. “He said it didn’t look nice after all.”

Renjun thinks it’s the ice cream getting to his head, maybe a brain-freeze of some sort, “I think you look nice.”

Jeno’s eyes widen, and his jaw practically hits the table with a _thunk_ , “Do you really?”

Renjun shrugs, trying his best to play it off, “Yeah, everyone probably thinks it looks really nice. You’re pretty popular, if you didn’t already know.”

“Oh.” Renjun hates it when Jeno shrinks into himself, like when Donghyuck would jab at him, telling him to scat.

“I like it,” Renjun sighs, hating it even _more_ when Jeno’s eyes light up like the fourth of July.

“Do you really?”

Renjun studies the way it falls over Jeno’s eyes, the way that particular strand sticks out on the top of his head, and he decides that, “Yeah, I do.”

Jeno grins, far wider and brighter he’s ever seen, “Well, thanks.”

Renjun shakes his head, mostly to himself, pulling his file up, taking his biology assignment out.

“Are you going to study?” Jeno asks, as if he’d expected something more.

“Pretty much,” Renjun sniffs. “What else are we going to do here?”

Jeno juts out his lower lip, and Renjun trains his eyes at Jeno’s nose instead, “I thought we’d talk, or something.”

Renjun digs around his backpack for his pen case, “I’m not a good conversationalist. I’m pretty boring.”

“That’s not what Minhyung says, though.”

He picks out a pen, trying his best to keep his voice levelled, “You talk to Minhyung about me?”

Jeno takes several scoops out of his ice cream before answering, shy, “Not a lot.”

“Why?” Renjun wants to know what Jeno’s intentions are, and he wants to know now. A bulb flickers. “Oh. _Oh_.”

The sheepish look on Jeno’s face is immediately swapped out for a one of consternation, “What?”

Renjun laughs, a little darkly, “Do you, perhaps…”

He doesn’t quite dare to continue, feeling like he’s trailing on forbidden grounds. Jeno swallows a big bite of ice cream, and he leaves the spoon his mouth.

“Do you like Donghyuck?” Renjun raises an eyebrow.

Jeno coughs loudly, dropping the metal spoon onto the table. The couple by the bar turns to look, and so does Youngho, but Renjun doesn’t mind, “Because I think he’s pretty much into Na Jaemin right now, I don’t know if you know that,” he avoids mentioning Minhyung entirely.

“No, god, no,” Jeno rushes to pluck more napkins from the holder, swiping the melted drops of vanilla ice cream off the table. “Oh, no, not Donghyuck, what? No, just, no.”

Renjun scoffs, twirling his pen around his fingers, “Aren’t you friends with Na Jaemin? Didn’t he tell you that he and Donghyuck started dating?”

Jeno’s eyes grow to the sizes of their ice cream bowls, “They’re dating?”

It shouldn’t be all that disappointing, because Renjun shouldn’t have had expectations. What was he thinking, coming to _The Green Creamery_ with someone like Lee Jeno?

“Something like that,” Renjun responds plainly. “You should probably clear it up with Jaemin, if you like Donghyuck.”

Jeno crumples the napkins in his hands, curling them up so tight that Renjun feels a little bad for the boy. It must be difficult to hear that the person you like already has eyes on someone else.

“I don’t like Donghyuck,” Jeno is adamant, and Renjun’s about to question his dubious response, when he continues, “And Na Jaemin’s not a friend of mine, I just know him from a couple of our classes.”

 _You could say that about you and I_ , Renjun thinks, but asks instead, “Then why did you want to come along the other time?”

“I – I,” Jeno mumbles, not at all able to look into Renjun’s eyes. There’s something in Renjun that forces him to take pity on the boy, even at just the hint of a frown. Maybe it’s just budding friendship blooming, he’s always been attentive to others,

“Don’t worry,” Renjun taps his pen against the counter, and Jeno looks up, a guilty-mixed-terrified expression etched clearly on his face. “I won’t tell Donghyuck. He’s already got enough on his plate anyway.”

“No, I – ”

“But, seriously,” Renjun reshuffles the papers in front of him. “You should forget about Donghyuck… He’s,” a pause, “very serious about who he likes right now.” Renjun doesn’t mention that it’s Minhyung, “You probably wouldn’t stand a chance.”

When his advice is met with silence, he lifts his head, only to be met with Jeno’s troubled eyes and downward curved lips (that he tries not to let his stare linger on for too long).

“Seems like I really won’t have a chance,” Jeno mumbles sadly, and the atmosphere around them feels a lot heavier than it should have.

Renjun sighs, having played this role of comforting best friend many times (Donghyuck’s had many people fancy him). He reaches over to pat Jeno comfortingly on the hand, and the lines on Jeno’s forehead deepens, “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find someone else soon.”

Jeno grumbles incoherently under his breath, and Renjun pulls away, quick to change the subject,

“Hey, have you done this assignment? I’m stuck on the second half of it.”

 

x

 

The fifth letter comes two weeks after.

Over those two weeks, hanging out at _The Green Creamery_ with Jeno after school has become a daily ritual for Renjun. It’s purely based on the fact that Jeno’s going through a rough time dealing with his unrequited feelings for Donghyuck, and Renjun, so often playing role, grows to enjoy Jeno’s company.

Neither of them bring up Donghyuck in their conversations, Renjun not wanting to prick at Jeno’s broken heart, and Jeno probably reserving any kind of heartfelt talk with someone he’s closer to (Minhyung, likely). It makes the topics of their conversations a little awkward at first, and Renjun tries to talk about homework, asking if he could borrow Jeno’s notes (even if he already has perfectly good ones), but the other always declines, saying his handwriting is too messy to understand. It forces them to speak about other things, about Jeno’s trainings on the basketball team (he’s vice-captain, and confident in his man-to-man defensive strategy), about Renjun’s projects he has for art, about Jeno’s love for comic books, about Renjun’s love for baking.

If they aren’t talking, then they’re working silently. Jeno always has a folder of notes with him, which he’s sure to hide from Renjun, god knows why, and he’s constantly armed with an array of colored pens and highlighters, something Renjun didn’t expect from the vice-captain of the basketball team. Renjun works differently, combing through his textbook with just a single pen, only taking down notes whenever the concept is too hard for him to grasp mentally.

They have lunch together too, since Donghyuck’s gone off gallivanting with Na Jaemin and his rusty car, going to nearby diner joints for lunch instead of the school’s grubby meals. It left Renjun alone for the first couple of days, but Jeno was quick to notice him spiritlessly jiggling his chocolate pudding around his plate. Renjun had obliged, having gotten used to Jeno’s company by now.

Minhyung would join them sometimes, as an extension of Jeno, and Renjun would feel bad that Donghyuck was missing out as they fall back into their comfortable conversations and jokes about the littlest things. They would bicker about who was the worst at Mario Kart, and Jeno would tell them to come over so that they could _finally_ get down to it, and figure out who was the last out of the three of them.

Maybe it’s the way Jeno clings to him, or maybe it’s the way Jeno’s always by his side, giving him little opinions he never knew he wanted to hear. Maybe it’s the way his heart shakes when Jeno smiles at him, or the way his toes curl when Jeno drapes an arm around his shoulders. Maybe it’s just hitting him twice as hard, having never felt this way about anyone before.

He doesn’t let himself think about how it’d be like to kiss Lee Jeno.

It’s a horrible feeling, Renjun decides. Whatever it is, if this is what a _crush_ is supposed to feel like, he doesn’t really want to have one anymore. Holding his breath whenever Jeno brushes by, constantly smelling like a jar of candies, or hiding a smile behind his hand whenever Jeno tells him a bad joke.

He knows it’s pointless, of course, whatever it is that’s festering in him. He’d probably have a better chance with his secret note-giver, who he thought disappeared into thin air, having not received anything over the past fortnight. There was no reason for Renjun to expect it to last any longer for than just four notes, but it didn’t help that he still _hoped_ a letter would fall out of his locker in the morning.

It was confusing; he didn’t like the feeling of someone jerking him around, and then pulling the rug from under him, but at the same time, it felt satisfying to receive the letters, even if it was anonymous.

 

_i don’t think i keep this a secret any more…_

_my heart’s fighting to break out of my chest,_

_if you so much as look in my direction._

_i want to tell you who i am._

“Hey.”

Renjun’s gotten used to how quiet Jeno is when he moves now, but the anxiousness piled up from reading the note makes him flinch, and he backs into his locker again.

“You need to stop doing that,” Renjun shoves his entire backpack into his locker, along with the note. It might’ve gotten crushed, but he’s too concerned with getting it out of sight as quickly as possible. He didn’t like having to deal with the note-giver _and_ Jeno at the same time.

It was even worse when he’d uncovered that he didn’t like not knowing, because he wanted to be able to tell whoever it was to _stop it_. Handling his confusing feelings for his best friend’s suitor and some out of place secret admirer was just too overwhelming to Renjun.

“Sorry,” Jeno grins, a hand coming up to smooth the hairs on the back of Renjun’s head, sticking out from where it came into contact with the metal locker. The touch is electrifying, and Renjun shies away from the touch. “Listen, I – ”

“Renjun!” It’s Donghyuck, a voice he hasn’t heard in a while, charging straight at him, looking ridiculously pissed off.

It comes naturally, the instinct to get Jeno out of the way, worried he might get upset just from crossing paths with his crush, “You should leave, Jeno.”

“What?” Jeno doesn’t seem to register the speed at which Donghyuck’s dashing towards them. “Why?”

“Donghyuck,” Renjun tugs on his arm, and Jeno’s eyes dart to it, then back at Renjun. “Won’t you get upset if you see him?”

“What are you talking – ”

“Renjun,” Donghyuck’s by his side now, hand on Renjun’s shoulder. He gives Jeno a deathly glare before speaking, “Where have you been! I’ve been looking for you all morning?”

Renjun lets go of Jeno’s arm, busying himself with taking his textbooks from the locker, careful not to shift his bag too much, lest the letter falls out, “I’ve been _here_ all morning. Why were you looking for me?”

Donghyuck lets out an exasperated groan, “It’s about,” he whips around to face Jeno, “Sorry, but could you leave? I’m trying to have a conversation with my best friend here.”

“Hey, you – ”

Renjun interrupts, shaking Donghyuck’s hand off his shoulder to pull the rest of his things out of his locker, “Some best friend you are, I haven’t seen you in school in weeks, Donghyuck, how’s that even possible? We’ve like five classes together!”

Donghyuck scoffs, “I’ve just been out hanging with Jaemin! He has a car, you know, so – ”

“Frankly,” Renjun slams his locker shut, balancing his textbooks on his hip. Jeno moves to grab some of them for Renjun, something he’s just gotten around to doing every morning (it’s nothing, really), and Donghyuck stares at them. “I don’t care if Na Jaemin has a _boat_ , okay, Hyuck, we need to talk.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say!” Donghyuck throws his hands up in the air, following when Renjun starts to walk off, Jeno trailing on his other side. “I can’t be talking about,” he makes an incoherent grunt, “when Jeno’s here listening to every word!”

“Fine,” Renjun sighs, stopping by the door to Mr. Choi’s biology lab. He doesn’t let Jeno get a peep, he just wants the conversation to end. “We’ll go for ice cream after school? Don’t bring Jaemin.”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes, “Fine. Don’t bring Jeno.”

Renjun smacks him hard on the shoulder, avoiding Jeno’s burning gaze, “I wasn’t intending to.”

Donghyuck huffs, “Fine, I’ll see you later.”

“Wait,” Renjun sidesteps to block him from leaving. “Are you not staying for class?”

“No,” Donghyuck clicks his tongue, looking at Jeno hovering over Renjun. “Jaemin and I are going to catch a movie.”

“Donghyuck – ”

“I’ll tell you later,” he expertly ducks out of Renjun’s cage, and it out of sight in a matter of seconds.

Renjun groans in frustration, “I hate that.”

Jeno steers him away from the door, and towards his and Donghyuck’s lab bench, “What?”

“Donghyuck.” He didn’t want to be complaining to Jeno when he was still getting over his crush, but it spills from his lips anyway. “Always being so secretive about,” he can’t say Minhyung, “things. It’s frustrating, I hate it when people aren’t straightforward.”

“You do?” Jeno places his textbooks onto the table with a soft _thump_ , and Renjun nods.

“Why d’you have to go around the bushes when you can just cut to the chase? Just get it over and done with,” he babbles, and maybe it’s some of his leftover resentment and confusion from his note-giver that’s infecting his words. “It’s just annoying to watch him skirt around the bushes like that.”

“Renjun, I – ”

“Sorry,” Renjun groans, placing a hand over his forehead and closing his eyes. “I didn’t mean to talk about Hyuck like that, I know you had a thing for him.”

“No, it’s – ”

“Alright! Kids, seats!” Mr. Choi saunters into class then, lab coat and goggles already on him. “What are you doing so up front, Jeno?” He muses, eyeing Jeno’s empty bench (Jaemin was his lab partner). “Actually, you know what, this is fine, you can partner with Renjun today, I’ve received a call from Jaemin’s parents, and he’s called in sick.”

“Donghyuck’s not feeling well either,” Renjun pipes up, covering for him.

“And, actually, I – ” Jeno starts, but Mr. Choi’s already gone about addressing the rest of the class, having everyone take out a set of test tubes and the other necessary requirements for lab work today.

 

It involves a lot of dipping of leaves into substances and drawing of their findings, that Renjun doesn’t find himself talking to Jeno much throughout the series of experiments. Jeno works well on his own, unlike Donghyuck, who was smart enough to ace his classes without much studying, but still insisted on copying Renjun’s answers.

To make space for the set-up, they pile their textbooks and files onto the seats behind them, choosing to stand while they worked. It was an individual assignment, but that doesn’t stop Renjun from nudging the taller boy when he gets stuck,

“Hey, what’d you put for the third section?” He says under his breath, Mr. Choi so close to them.

Jeno shifts uncomfortably, pushing his assignment away, “I, er, I don’t know, I haven’t gotten to it yet.”

Renjun eyes him carefully, a little taken aback. He didn’t pin Jeno as one of those students to be secretive about their answers, “Oh, okay.”

It’s only when Jeno moves to clear his set-up that Renjun tries to take another peek at the boy’s worksheet.

He frowns when he looks at it, befuddled at Jeno’s secrecy. All of the questions were answered with lengthy responses. It doesn’t click fast enough for Renjun though, because the paper is out of his sight in the next instant, and smashed against Jeno’s chest, staring at him with a look of pure panic.

“Hand your assignments up to me before you leave,” Mr. Choi instructs, just as the period comes to an end, and Renjun doesn’t have time to question what was going on.

Jeno has his hand on Renjun’s assignment, “Are you done? I’ll bring it up front for you?”

Renjun turns to look pointedly at the teacher’s desk approximately ten feet away, and then back, “Er, yeah, sure.”

Jeno smiles tightly, whirling on his heels with both their assignments in hand. Renjun thinks it’s nice how Jeno’s always offering to help with things (carrying his textbooks, for one).

Clearing the rest of set-up, he watches as Mr. Choi speaks to Jeno, pointing at his worksheet, presumably picking out mistakes he could’ve made.

Jeno’s stationaries are still lying across the lab bench, and, thinking it might be a nice gesture to help pack his things up, Renjun starts to gather them neatly. It’s funny, Renjun thinks, he’d never thought to see someone like Jeno owning so many colored pens; red, pink, brown, purple, green, and everything in between. He must’ve not known Jeno enough yet, but it seemed like he enjoyed drawing too.

With the pen case heavy in his hand, he tries to stack their files and textbooks together, but it ultimately fails (because, of course, it’s Renjun), and Jeno’s file drops to the ground, pieces of paper smoothly falling out. He looks over his shoulder to see Mr. Choi and Jeno still involved in their conversation, and he leaves Jeno pen case on the desk, kneeling to pull together the scattered papers.

He reaches for the one furthest from him, and it’s easy to pick off the ground because it’s thick. A little sturdier, heavier, not quite like lined paper that could be torn off the back of a notebook. It’s vanilla colored, and Renjun would recognize it anywhere, he’d recognize it in his sleep.

 _It can’t be_.

Thumbing the edges of it, he turns it over, and it’s stamped with tiny red hearts, instead of just one on the front, and with unmistakably his note-giver’s handwriting, rounded at the sides,

 

_will you go to winter formal with me?_

_the masquerade ball?_

_i really want to take you,_

_tell you how much i’ve liked you_

It makes him jitter. Like the feeling you get in your legs when you sit still for too long, except that it’s all over his arms too, and Renjun can’t shake it off.

Renjun thinks he’s stopped breathing, feeling sick to his gut. His ears start to sting, and he feels his breakfast from this morning climbing up his throat. His eyes water, but it’s just the nausea.

 _What does this mean?_ He blinks rapidly, trying to clear his blurry vision, and the hearts come into focus again, and it feels like he’s standing right by his locker, receiving a letter from his note-giver.

Secret admirer.

Jeno.

“What are you – ”

He doesn’t dare turn around. Moving at twice his normal speed, Renjun piles everything together, vanilla paper on the top.

His legs don’t fail him, and he gets up rigidly, thrusting Jeno’s file into his chest, and he lets go without warning, leaving the blonde boy to fumble before everything hits the ground again.

Jeno doesn’t bother to pick it up, completely frozen to the ground, just five-feet away from Renjun, “Did you – ” he gulps, glancing at the hearts glaring up at both of them now. “Did you see it?”

Renjun’s heart hits the ground, and it ricochets out the open window. He shuts down immediately. With as little noise as possible, Renjun scoops his things off the chair, and he _bolts_.

“Hey!”

 _No, no, no, no, no_ , is all that’s going through Renjun’s mind when he weaves past the throng of high schoolers, and, for once, he’s glad enough he’s small enough to squeeze through unnoticed.

There’s a loud outburst following his wake, and he’s sure it’s not him, because Renjun never sticks out, and nobody notices him, so it could only be,

“Jeno!”

“Dude, where are you going!”

“Hey, watch it!”

Renjun hurries, but he can’t hear Jeno catching up to him. He curses at how light the basketball player is on his feet, and how fast he is, materializing by his side in a second.

“Renjun, wait,” he feels his arm get tugged, and he yelps, but it’s too much of a force to be reckoned with, and Jeno’s huddling him into an empty stairwell.

The moment the door is shut, Renjun tries to duck out of Jeno’s reach, aiming to run down several flights of stairs, but Jeno defends easily, height coming into advantage.

“It’s okay,” Renjun holds his hands up, completely avoiding Jeno’ attempts at trying to create some sort of eye contact. “I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.”

“What?” Jeno blinks. “Why?”

It’s one thing to pull a prank on him, but it’s another to have him explain it, “I know it was a joke, you can stop it now.”

Jeno has the vanilla paper in his hands, bringing them up to his temples, “What are you talking about?”

“You like Donghyuck, don’t you?” Renjun says, a little breathless, and he can’t stand how vulnerable he sounds, can’t even begin to imagine that Jeno was the one handing him little notes. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone, I’ll forget about everything, and – ”

“No! What!” Jeno turns the paper over, shoving it under Renjun’s nose. “This is for you!”

Renjun steps back, frowning, getting even more irritated by the second, “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to tell you I like you,” Jeno sighs, eyes glimmering under the fluorescent light. “I’ve been slipping notes in your locker, I’ve wanted to – ”

“Why did you do that?” Renjun stares at the open invitation in front of him.

“Why are you mad?” Jeno counters, but it’s more agonized than anything. “Did you want it to be someone else?”

Renjun can’t think of anyone who would do this, not to mention wrap his mind around the idea of Jeno being the culprit of it all, “I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are,” Jeno accuses gloomily. “I watch you when you read the notes. You didn’t like it.”

Renjun wonders how daft could he get.

“Sorry,” Jeno sighs, hands dropping to his sides. “I just thought it would be,” he laughs airily. “Romantic, I guess.”

“It was,” Renjun flubbers. It was difficult to see Jeno so morose. “I was just… I didn’t really pay much attention to the, er, notes.”

Jeno’s head snaps up, “Did you – do you have someone else that you like?”

Renjun takes a deep breath,

“I was pretty much distracted by this blonde boy hanging around me twenty-four-seven, I didn’t really have much time to think about anyone else,” He admits, rushing through his words as fast as he can, but the growing smile on Jeno’s lips tells him that he’s caught everything. “I didn’t like it that,” he grits his teeth and looks at his feet, Jeno’s Converse staring up at him, “there was someone trying to play with my feelings. I thought it was a joke.”

“No, god, Renjun, I meant – ”

Renjun picks on the clip of his file, wanting so much to curl up into a ball, “No, it’s okay, I just wasn’t thinking right. Not when I kept getting distracted.”

“Is it too cocky of me to assume that you’re referring to me?” Jeno’s practically exuding pride.

“I don’t see any other blondes in this stairwell you seem to have trapped me in,” Renjun mutters, cheeks searing warmth.

“Will you go with me to winter formal?” Jeno ditches the vanilla paper, pressing his hands to Renjun’s, still clamped tightly on his books. “I really want to take you with me.”

Renjun’s legs are about to give out, “Are you… sure?”

Jeno lets out a frantic noise, “I’m sure! I’ll be a good date, I promise!”

Honestly, Renjun didn’t much convincing, he was sure Jeno would be great, “Okay.”

His face is pressed into Jeno’s chest then, the taller boy enveloping in a hug, shaking him excitedly, “Will you really?”

Renjun cranes his neck away, looking up at Jeno, “Are _you_ sure? I’ll be a pretty boring date, you know?”

The word makes his face burn, but Jeno doesn’t seem at all bothered, “No, you’re not! I like you on dates. Or at any time, really.”

Jeno confesses like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and Renjun thinks he might’ve been shot with a drug or something, “We’ve never been on a date.”

“Haven’t we been hanging out together after school?” Renjun’s only now realizing how Jeno’s hands are resting on his waist, warm, comforting. Jeno squeezes lightly, and Renjun’s body lights on fire, “I’ve been thinking them to be dates.”

Renjun wants to make a run for it, heart never quite been faced with a situation like this before, not at all prepared for the riot in his chest, “Have you?”

“I have,” Jeno admits sheepishly, and Renjun inhales sharply. “I really like you.”

“Do you?” Renjun squeaks.

“What about you?” Jeno’s hands are far too distracting for Renjun to be thinking properly. “I didn’t know if you liked me or not, but I thought you must’ve, to be having ice cream with me every day.”

Maybe it’s the way high schoolers dealt with crushes, awkward and not really knowing what to say or do, and just a lot of reassuring and reminding, but Renjun thinks he wouldn’t have it any other way, “I like you.”

Jeno exhales, and his face is _so_ painfully close to Renjun’s that his eyes are starting to cross. He smells good, like freshly baked sweet bread, and Renjun is soaking it in, what with Jeno’s arms around him.

“Can I – Can I kiss you?”

Renjun draws a sharp breath, all of the air is out of his lungs, and it feels like his heart is clunking around, hitting him in the back, trying to break free. It’s embarrassing, how much he’s thought of this; when he spots the blonde boy in the hall, when he looks over his shoulder in class to find Jeno looking at him, when they’re having ice cream after, when they’re arguing about who’s the best character to pick in Mario, when Jeno’s walking him home, carrying his things, when Jeno’s says ‘goodbye, I’ll see you tomorrow?’, when Renjun’s getting ready for bed, and when he wakes up in the morning, and then all over again.    

“W-we haven’t even started dating yet,” Renjun laughs nervously, trying to play it off, but Jeno doesn’t let him look away, eyes sincere, holding his gaze.

“We don’t have to,” Jeno nods quickly, a small smile on his lips, and Renjun can’t stop staring now. “I just thought I’d ask… I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now.”

His file is squished between them when he leans in to press their lips together, and his heart is soaring.  

Renjun’s first kiss is soft, and sweet, just like he thought it’d be.

It’s with Jeno, just like he wished it was.

Jeno’s hands grip his waist tighter, pushing against Renjun gently, and the other lets him, not at all well-versed in the realm of kissing a boy like Jeno (or anyone, for the matter). His mind goes blank instantly, eyes shut from when he leaned in, completely terrified at the thought of making the first move.

He feels his head grow light, holding his breath, but Jeno’s still hovering over him, lips moving expertly against Renjun’s. Jeno parts his lips a little, just enough to catch Renjun’s lower lip in his, and Renjun jabs him lightly in the ribs to break for air.

“Sorry,” Jeno’s panting too, blinking rapidly. “Was that too much?”

Renjun has a hand splayed on the other’s chest, eyes trained on the little NIKE logo on his shirt, unable to lift his head, “No, I just,” he takes a deep breath. “Couldn’t breathe.”

“Sorry,” Jeno says again. “I’ll do better next time.”

Renjun looks up so quick, he might’ve pulled a muscle, “Next time?”

“Well, yeah,” Jeno grins madly, a hand coming up to cover Renjun’s hand on his chest. “I hope there’ll be a next time?”

Renjun feels a snake slither down his spine at the keenness in Jeno’s voice, “Yeah, I – I hope so too.”

Jeno bends to kiss him again, on the cheek this time, and the action itself is so _loving_ , Renjun’s heart swells.

“Does this mean we can go to other places for our dates next?” Jeno looks at him with a playful smile.

Renjun blinks, “What?”

“I mean,” Jeno shrugs, squeezing Renjun’s hand. “I was getting pretty tired of vanilla ice cream. I want to do other things with you too,” he breathes, “Watch movies, have _actual_ meals, take you on a proper date.”

Renjun swallows his heart in his throat.

“Would that be okay?”

Renjun flips his hand around to grab Jeno’s, “It’d be more than okay.”

The smile Jeno sends him is blinding, but Renjun doesn’t get to see it for long, because Jeno’s ducking down and kissing him again.

Renjun’s second kiss is still soft, and sweet, just like he thought it’d be.

It’s with Jeno, just like he wished it was.

 

He remembers to breathe this time.

 

 

 

 

 

(“Wait, did you talk to Minhyung?” Renjun asks later that day, when they’re all seated at a booth in _The Green Creamery_ , much to Jeno’s displeasure. He wanted to bring Renjun elsewhere, make memories with together at someplace else that’s not _The Green Creamery._ Jeno admitted to not liking the feeling of intruding on a place like that, having heard from Minhyung, wanting to take Renjun to more places than just the usual ice cream shop. Renjun simply grabbed the boy’s hand, and promised that they would have the rest of the time to do just that, but he needed to be there for Donghyuck now.

That, however, did not come to surface easily.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t bring Jeno!” Donghyuck groans. “How did this happen?”

“Donghyuck, can you just – ”

“We’re dating now,” Jeno says triumphantly, lifting their interlaced hands that were previously hiding under the table.

“Okay,” Donghyuck glares at Jeno, and Renjun kicks him under the table. “How did _that_ happen?”

Renjun shakes his head, “No, wait, what about Minhyung?”

Donghyuck waggles a finger, “No way, that’s a completely different story! Now, from the start, and don’t leave anything out!”

Renjun sighs.

This is going to take a while.)

**Author's Note:**

> got too excited and shucked this out in three days for the anon on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jenhyung)! i hope it's okay!
> 
> kudos + comments / criticisms are greatly appreciated ♡ feedback warmly welcomed! [twitter](https://twitter.com/jenhyungs) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jenhyung) | [more notes](https://jenhyung.tumblr.com)


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